Hello world and curious shiny happy people. For anyone who has not read all the preambles before reading this, I am embarking on a year of yes. For the last 6yrs my world has drastically changed in some amazing ways, some crazy ways, and some devastating ways. Through all of it I have focused on my daughter first, and everyone else second, sussing out the right moves for moral reasons third, and completely neglecting myself in the process. I forgot to continue the work in progress that is me and lost my curiosity as well. The shiny happy people I choose to see more than the grumpy angry world faded and I have decided it all must come back. I require 2017 to be a reawakening not just for my sake, but also my daughter’s.
So here we go preparing it all as December 2016 acts as my staging area for what is to come. I am a big girl who used to be a fat girl working towards being a normal girl. More for health than anything else. I have signed up for women and weights twice a week at the local YMCA, and on a waiting list for my loved and hated kettle bell class. The woman who trains us in kettle bells is a little power house who enjoys making this big girl, who is also working on quitting smoking, turn bright red from crazy cardio. In truth her kicking my behind is part of the reason I decided to work hard at quitting smoking. I have been trying off an on for a while…but when I realized how bad my cardio ability was, now is the time. Women and weights is phenomenal as that instructor and all the fantastic women know how to laugh and motivate at the same time.
I guess I have been preparing unknowing all year-long. Women and Weights has been a year long joy once a week and kettle bells has been 2 sessions this year. I have also recently discovered podcasts and Ted Talks. My car has the app connect and I find joy in listening on my way to and from work most days. When I was a wee lass my dream was to be a Psychologist until I realized I have no tolerance for those who REFUSE to help themselves. Not really the best mindset for that career. I have been wondering ever since trying to figure out what I want to be when I grown up. For now I sell cars which has its basis in helping people. At least the way I do it. FYI, there are many car salespeople that are not out to rip you off, please give everyone a chance.
So I am going to get in shape, completely quit smoking, rework my brain to find my smile again, and say yes to as many opportunities as I can. In an attempt to be the responsible person and parent, I have found I say no to many things. Need to end that habit. Being a single parent with an ex who is irresponsible and married to a sycophant does not require me to be stoic and boring. I no longer feel the need to compensate for their inability to adult and use common sense. Luckily my 6yr old can handle herself.
Okay, losing the shiny happy…. I have also downloaded a few mediation apps in hopes of controlling the ranting in my brain for things that do not compute for me. I am logical in nature and somethings are just insane to me. The year of yes also means trying to go out on dates I would normally say no to. If you are going to have a different result, you have to try a different angle.
Side note: You will read me talk about being a single parent and not a single mother. There is an intentional reason for that, there are many single fathers raising children on their own as well. The big difference is they do not have the resources as readily available to them as single mother does, but they deserve just as much respect.
The plan for this is to chronicle the journey and see what we see. We all deserve to be curious shiny happy people, like when we were children!!! I am going to get it back, what about you?