All three words in the title are synonyms for a con. I am curious to see how many people knew that before? I am curious to also try to understand how so many people execute these so poorly. We all know about the Nigerian Prince and his issues. Many of us know about the military men and women trapped overseas with “found” money they need help getting out of the country, or the winning of a lottery we have never entered. Lately I have found an absurd amount of guys online claiming to be military stationed overseas in Africa, recently divorced, separated,or spent too much time on their career and are now searching for a soul mate.
Really? I mean, really really? They would not continue this if people weren’t actually falling for it. I have also had guys talk to me for half a minute, overly intense and then ask me for money so they can get back into the country after a trip. SERIOUSLY!!!! How does anyone EVER fall for these? On top of it they must think single parents especially stupid since it seems to be happening to me all the time and there are more and more “also single parents” trying this with. I just had someone try to ask me for money on Facebook, and another Army enlisted stationed in Africa and a single father from the area.
Yes, online dating has its risks and funny moments, but someone must be falling for these things out there. Scammers only continue what works. Yes, I am on a couple of dating websites. For my purposes it helps weed out MANY of the crazy, unemployed, still living with mommy, baggage filled (more than anyone should be),the downtrodden, and all around anyone I feel is not up to my standards. It may sound a little elitist, but I have compromised in the past both times it ended badly. Actually one endedin a horrifying way. I have also decided I am looking to date a couple of different people rather than be serious about just one. I have never done that before and this is a year of yes and doing things different. Why do I NEED to be in a serious relationship? I should mention no one will meet my child.
So I mentioned my standards. They are not crazy by any means. I just know both what I want and what I deserve. He must have his own place and car with a job is number one. You should never date anyone in a lesser situation than yourself, especially as a woman. Men also deserve to not have to take care of someone else. However for women it’s a big blaring neon sign if they are basically homeless (or living with mommy) after 30 and have only been employed for a short time. No less when they are in their 40’s. There are certain expectations that are normal. Also, don’t fall for the “converging circumstances”. Bad roommates and layoffs rarely coincide like that. I’m not asking you own a house, just your own space and bills. Oh, and don’t try to tell someone “you hate apartments” which is why you still live at home and have never left when you are in your late 30’s early 40’s. Just makes you more PATHETIC.
So the more specific of my non-compromising things. You must have lived someplace outside of the 30 mile radius of where you live now. Even if just for college, and internship, anything that was not within a 30 mile radius of where you are now. I want someone who believes in new and exploration. Someone who is willing to put themselves in someone else’s life to understand their own a little better. I have found that if you stay within 30 miles your whole life then you have never really experienced life. You are hanging out with the same people, doing the same things, at the same places, thinking the same way….. you see where I am going with this. If you moved back to the area, cool…but you had to of left.
A decent vocabulary and understanding of debate. The father of my child would use large words incorrectly and it became an issue. Not my issue, but his. He grew up speaking Thai and Laos, eventually learning English. He viewed people who used large words as more intelligent and he saw how people reacted to them so he tried. However he never took the time to understand the meaning of those words and would use them incorrectly. I cautiously assisted him with understanding and learning new words which was fun for us both at first. Not that I am a master, but I enjoy words. However these days (while still using incorrect words) he tells me how horrible I was. Gee, tell someone an issue as it happens and do not make it an issue after the fact. Debate because I enjoy examining things from many view points. I need someone who understands debate is not an argument, it’s a debate.
Laugh at me, and at yourself. I am always over analyzing things so when I have a dumb moment, it’s hysterical. For instance, I have no sense of direction and fall into the wrong state often. I do it in the strangest and most difficult ways, but always find my way home. Along the way I try to find a new place to check out and people watch. Yes I can use GPS all the time, but what is the fun. We have our weaknesses and should laugh lovingly at each other.
That is the extent of my uncompromising checklist. See, not crazy or extensive. I know who I am, what I want, and what I deserve. At my age, why settle?
Let me know of what crazy scams you have been subject to lately. Or tell me about your online dating. I love to hear from other people.