Let me start by saying I have never had an issue being single. I would prefer to be alone than to be with someone because I was afraid to be alone. I deplore people like that. Also, I have taken over a year off of dating because I needed to reset after my last disaster. However it would be nice to meet a few people and see what happens. With my schedule that means using the web to weed through the gaggle of not right for me guys out there.
It amazes me what people put up and think they are going to meet anyone of substance. I find it even funnier to watch the lack of pictures or information. I am not advocating a page of word vomit, but something more than “I hate filling these things out, just ask me”, or “I’m just checking this out to see what happens”, or my favorite “be fit,funny, and not a gold digger”. The pictures are often one, or finding waldo and just overall lame. You are advertising yourself, take a minute and put some thought into it. If you can’t do that on a profile that just sits there, what is to make me think you will put effort into the relationship?
Then there are the chats that begin with one word. I have heard a few explanations for why and if the profile has some effort I will come up with something to respond with, most of the time. I understand you are probably currently or in the past contacted many prospects and are saving the good stuff for someone who responds. Fair enough.
If you have been reading this at all you know I am a single mother of a young female child, so I have to be careful. No one will ever meet my daughter unless I think there is something serious and long term happening. I have a 3rd phone # that goes to my phone (2nd is for customers at my job, again safety) and that number can be dumped quickly and you will never find out any information about me from it. I will not meet you after a couple of messages, and I will not call or text you while I am spending time with my daughter. It clearly states on my profiles she is my priority.
I thoroughly laugh at the guys who get angry at any or all of these things. Too bad, you failed the first barriers. I had a guy get upset with me last night because I was going to bed to get up for a 5:30 am Gym session and I did not want to start a phone conversation at 11pm. I think he also became annoyed when I explained I will never NEED a significant other and anyone in my life is there because of choice. I try to choose carefully who is in my life and they should feel important because they are chosen and not needed.
May sound a little self centered or wrong to some people, but you need air, water, food,and your children. You should be choosing everyone else you share your precious time. When you need someone it’s not about who they are, it’s about who you are not. I am not searching for my other half as I am not half, I am a whole person as we all should be.
So online dating…. it is what it is. I am not looking to date one person at this time, I do not need something serious, and I have never dated around. I am not looking for fwb either as that is very dangerous in this day and age. I am looking for an adult.Right now a friend to spend time and laughs with when my time allows. If more eventually happens, it does, but I am fine all by myself. To the point I went out on a date with a nice guy. At this stage in life we all have baggage, but he seemed fairly normal. Except he would go a couple of weeks without a word. When he contacted me again I declined another date because I did not feel he was that into me, which is fine. I am not everyone’s cup of tea and I don’t need to be. He tried desperately to explain that it was just that he is bad at texting. YOU ARE ONLINE DATING, TEXTING IS KIND OF REQUIRED!!! lol No biggy. It was a fun night.
There was another guy in his 40’s who seemed nice… and then I did a quick 10 minute background and found out he lived in his parent’s home and always has. When asked why, the reply was that he did not like apartments. How do you know until you try them. Most importantly, you are in your 40’s and never left home. That’s just sad and wrong, and I have one child. Definitely not looking for a man child who is still attached by the umbilical cord.
Maybe if ind friends, maybe I find a partner, I am definitely finding the laughs!!!