January’s First Date

Since this is a year of yes and I expect to go on many first dates, I figured I would tag them by month and then by the number for that month.  Seems like a viable way to log it all.

So we met and started chatting on one of the many online dating sites.  Unlike many he seemed to be fairly interesting and an adult.  It feels a bit sad to me that one of the things I have to specifically target is someone who seems like an adult.  It’s not as if I am searching for late 20’s or even early 30’s, but yet I have to keep this criteria at the front of my thoughts as I read through the profiles.  My favorite are the profiles with one picture and a sentence of “ask me anything” and somehow they think anyone of substance will respond.  It’s a bit crazy if you ask me.

Back to this gentleman.  Nice profile, viable screen name that was unique, fairly attractive and a good intro that included is job as a teacher.  The irony that KK is technically a teacher is not lost, but really has no bearing for me.  We chatted a bit through the app, then through text on the safe number, and a couple of calls before we agreed to meet.  During one of the chats he asked for a full length picture, which I provided, and besides saying I was tall (I was standing next to a short person and apparently my profile said I was 5’10”) and he commented I was “thick”. Kind of knew at that point we would not be a match, but this is my year of yes and going with the flow.

He had asked to meet earlier than we did, but I had plans for that day.  He was the understanding of my need to take things a bit slow before meeting.  He chose one place, then another which I later realized was out of the way for both of us, so I chose a like place in his neighborhood. Once we both arrived I realized why he had chosen the other place as he is a regular at the place I suggested and knows everyone in the neighborhood.  Not a bad thing by any means, just a bit telling and kind of fun to watch the interactions.  He knew the bartender and they traded a few quips.  We spoke  through the eventual crowd and really sad music for a while.

He told me about his ex, I shared a little able BA and my most recent mistake we’ll call WM for worst mistake.  One day I may explain that one in detail, but not now.

We had a couple of laughs, shared some nachos (which were awesome), he had a few drinks while I stayed sober.  Driving there from work and having to drive home and go to work the next day, even one drink would not have been good.   At one point the brother of a childhood associate showed up and he chose to speak with them for a bit… and at that point I was about done.  I chose to continue until he called it quits. Couple of things, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, thus the date after the “thick” comment.  Second when you are in your neighborhood that you grew up in and in a place where people you work with or grew up with frequent, things will happen.  After a couple of beverages it’s easy to get sidetracked.  However, yeah, definitely not a match.

He is from a large family and is a point in his life where he wants to hurry up, get married, have kids, and build the life he grew up in.  I have my child and have no need to be married.  If I eventually decide again that I am ready, so be it, but there is no rush.  If someone I am with has children, cool, but diapers again is not my idea of future.

We ended the date with me paying much to his protest.  I do this on all first dates because too many women go on dates for a free night out.  Plus I am always interested to see how they react.  I believe in fairness as well and it’s a great way to prove that in my opinion.  I am not average and think it’s important to show sooner rather than later.  Too much hiding in the dating world.  We parted with a hug and I said I was open to a second meet.  Sometimes the first falls flat due to pressure, especially at this age.  Plus since I chose his neighborhood hangout, thought it best to give him another shot.

The next day I waited until the evening to text and say it was nice to meet him. He said the same back and then stated he did not think we were a match. I was a bit relieved.  Although I like to give the benefit of the doubt, however for me to run out of things to talk about is very uncomfortable.  We texted a bit more and have decided to be friends.  I am thoroughly happy about that.  He seems like a VERY nice guy, but not a romantic interest and I enjoy meeting new people.  Plus since he is born and raised in the area, he can help me get out more and meet new people.  I can help him read people as he seems really bad at it.  He is very nice and a seemingly good guy as he has chosen to work with children who have special needs.  That takes a big heart, but not necessarily someone who can avoid issues with other adults.

We have decided to go play pool next and I look forward to spending time with my new friend.  All and all, I would say a success!!  Now to troll through more profiles and sad lines for the next opportunity.  The year of yes is a big smile so far.  Stay tuned for the next adventure.

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