In listening to my ever growing list of podcasts, someone said something that was profound to me. “You will never truly know what choices were wrong until the end of your life”. Let that sit for a minute.
Up until something horrific happened to my child, I was always able to appreciate the bad things and much as the good. I always felt you needed the bad to appreciate the good and to teach us other ways to look at things. Bad things have this crazy way of twisting our views of thing. Sometimes it’s the shake up we need, sometimes it snaps us out of the routine, for me it always made me learn what not to do and what to look out for.
The situation with my daughter was horrific and crazy made worse by BA and his antics. This was honestly the first time I can say something bad did not teach me anything other than how strong my autopilot could be. Things needed to be done, and I could fall apart later. However, I don’t think I have allowed myself to fall apart yet and take in. I had the co-parenting therapist try to convince me that this should also be a lesson that my investigation into people around my daughter is unnecessary. To say that did not go over well, is an severe understatement.
I am not so crazy to have ever believed I could keep all harm from my child. I do fully understand every eventuality cannot be accounted for. I full recognize that what kept this from being far worse was teaching my daughter the importance of truth, living in the light and that we never have anything to hide from anyone. I also take comfort that I took every possible step to keep this from happening that is humanly possible and I will continue to do so because it’s the only way I was able to face my daughter after things were discovered.
So back to no wrong choices. This concept is not the same as always a right choice. There is a difference between always being right and never being wrong in your choices. So how does that work and how do you incorporate that into your decision making. No wrong choices. Life is about choices and we have all been taught through multiple venues to weigh the pros and cons while trying to basically predict the outcome. No wrong choices. We have been told millions of times how our choices have consequences, but how many times have we looked as consequences as just a different path?
Ultimately we will all be sitting alone in the nursing home left with nothing but time to review our lives and second guess what we have deemed as a wrong choice, marinate in the regrets we created, and memorialize the perspectives we chose. No wrong choices. All choices, even those we do not make, lead us on different paths. I know at this halfway point of my life I have remodeled myself many times in ways most who know this version would not believe. The core me has always been the same and maintained the same integrity, but I have worn many costumes and experiences. All of which I have cherished. No wrong choices.
So what ACTUALLY makes a wrong choice and how are any of us to truly know it was wrong until we reach the end of our odyssey? How will we truly know until then? And more importantly, who is or are the ones tasked with that final discernment and penance?
Many of us believe in a religion, even if only on it’s most basic element.. just because we don’t want to be wrong. The interesting thing is that not only will none of us be able to confirm is or is not for anyone, but most religions have a clause for salvation. No wrong choices. Most also have a combined theme of treating neighbors with love, respect and tolerance. Basic human decency. Granted it’s being displayed often these days as the media thinks it’s best to show the worst of humanity, but it is still there if you look for it.
No wrong choices. No ultimate right choice. No definitive judge that will categorically sentence us to an immeasurable punishment, especially if we make choices with the best of intentions for our fellow man. So how is there ever really a wrong choice. Again, may not always be the right choice, but that does not mean it’s the wrong choice.
So I am curious what will happen when I start to make choices knowing I can’t make a wrong choice, but not killing myself trying to find the “right” choice? What happens when no choice is ever wrong, and you take the fear of that away? What happens when they are all just choices? Let’s see!!!
This does not mean I am not going to continue to research the people brought into my daughter’s life, or that I am not going to think about the consequences. It just means I am no longer going to be concerned with a wrong choice. Does that make sense to anyone else? I open the floor to all thoughts and comments.
No wrong choices, only choices to be made. Just feels freeing to me.