So my month of February started out with my daughter developing an abscess because her adult front tooth was putting too much pressure on her baby tooth which would not fall out. I was able to obtain an emergency appointment where they attempted to extract the tooth. After several attempt and blood curdling screams, it was decided to have a knock out extraction. So the dentist gave me a referral to an office that was supposed to be able to do the extraction. After leaving work early on Monday I would be going into work late Tuesday. I kept BA informed the whole way. This becomes important later in the chaos.
Now when I made the appointment with the second office I was obnoxiously clear as to the reasons for the visit and why I was referred. To the point that I asked to speak to a supervisor. I was not putting my daughter through dental hell. Plus being in sales and February being a short month, I needed to be at work. So imagine my anger when we were seen and they did almost the exact same thing (minus the extraction attempt) and tried to set us up with another appointment at an offsite facility for yet another day because they do not do knockout extractions. After arguing with them for a bit, I left and called my original office. The office manager was dismayed at what had happened, asked why they did not refer me to the other office they had sent me to… really… you’re asking me why your office did or did not do something? So I contacted the knockout dentist office I had been to before and after a 3rd short day attempt and another shortened work day the tooth was out.
Throughout all of this BA was kept real time informed and not once offered to take our daughter to an appointment. Not one single time did he offer to take the time to go to an appointment. Yet at the end of this crazy week I receive papers for a reduction in child support because HE IS UNEMPLOYED!!! Seriously he was fired about 2 weeks prior and still could not help with our child. This, however, was only the beginning of the crazy month.
Next I get an e-mail from the school telling me that my 6yr old wrote a note to her teacher saying she wishes she was dead. I thanked the school for letting me know and contacted her therapist right away. BA decided to call the guidance counselor at the school trying to set up a meeting. I love my daughter’s school and everyone there is great, but this was not a school issue. This is a mental health issue. So BA set up a last minute meeting that eventually required many school people and would not set it up for my day off. He told me he was going at 3:30 that day no matter what and I could figure something else out. SO I re-arranged my clients, gave up a sale, and round trip took 3 hours out of my work day to accommodate his desire to be a pain… and he did not bother to show. Not at all, not in the slightest. The unemployed demanding one did not show.
The principal called him before the meeting with no answer or reply until after the meeting when I asked him how he could not be there. Then all of a sudden he supposedly called the guidance counselor in the morning and because he never heard back figured the meeting was cancelled. SO the next crazy began of trying to reschedule what has grown to 11 people for the next meeting. Again, I am in sales, short month, and NOT A SCHOOL issue. The co-parenting therapist and my daughter’s therapist are forced by the school to join the conversation. I have to do it by conference call.
No during all of this my daughter reveals to her therapist that she wanted to do something big to get all the adults together because BA and KK hate me and everything feels crazy because of it. My daughter is extremely emotionally aware and very much a mini-me. So unfortunately she is developing the fixer tendency and that is the last thing I want for her. She is 6 and should be allowed to be 6.
So we have this huge meeting where the co-parenting therapist states that she saw an issue coming a couple of months earlier after meeting with my daughter and has been trying to get the adults together to work on it but BA and KK were refusing. I reminded her that she has been trying since October and I was trying before that because I too saw something coming. BA decides to try to focus on the issue my daughter has had with this one boy and punching. It was a 2 day situation that had already resolved, but he thought that was what is causing this. I point out that she has been thinking everyone hates her and that she seems to have been saying that since around November when she also mentioned to her therapist that BA and KK hate me. Gee, coincidence….. nope. Especially since I make a point of never hate in reference to someone in my home. I can’t wait to dance on BA’s mother’s grave when she finally leaves this earth, but as far as my daughter knows I am always happy when she gets to see her grandmother and make a point of offering a visit when we are in the neighborhood.
So after this meeting, which really accomplishes nothing I get a call. Apparently BA decided to try to garner sympathy by telling school officials that I am a crazy person who sent things to his wife’s job to get her fired. He also tries to tell them that the only person who wants all of the adults in the same room is me and not the co-parenting therapist. The best part was being informed that they all basically looked at him like he was nuts and explained they just heard the co-parenting therapist with their own ears saying the adults need to get their garbage together. So in trying to make me look bad, he made himself look like the fool.
When I confronted him a bit later he tried to deny it until I explained what I was told and then attempted to remind him that this is not about us, but our daughter. He eventually seemed to agree.
No for the good news. BA has found that he can bond with my daughter over roller skating and he has been making an attempt to be happier around her and more engaged. This has made my daughter extremely happy. Tomorrow there is finally a meeting with co-parenting for all the adults. Time for the lies to get exposed into sunlight and the garbage and unnecessary drama to end. I have had enough and I refuse to live with it anymore.