BA lost his job January 4 th due to poor job performance, so he initiated yet another support hearing. The Master decided since he is unemployed that he would suspend his child support obligation…… um, who is suspending my childcare needs or bills? Thankfully I am me and pre-planned for this eventuality and paid ahead for much of my expenses. It would be one thing if BA got off his behind and offered to assist by spending more time with our child and reduced my childcare expenses. Nope, instead this ridiculous bedraggled excuse for a human being pretends he is working when my daughter has a dental emergency that requires me to leave work early or come in late over a period of 3 days. When she is ill, it takes him 5 hours to respond if he would take her so she did not have to come to work with me. Luckily I know better than to count on him and have a nanny. On a day when I had no childcare available and had to work, and he was told ahead of time, I brought my daughter with me without even an offer from him.
Yet I am the bad guy. BA whines to his friends how I am taking his money and trying to take his wife’s while he helps me at every turn. On what planet? If KK was not there to support him, he would have a real job by now. The best part is neither of them understand that I know he is working at the nail salon under the table. I also know he is attempting to get licensure for yet another business he will never make work.
So the actually support order allows for the downward deviation as if he has 50% time with our daughter. He does not. Has not for almost a year now.
I was being a nice person by allowing that, not taking KK’s income into account, and not forcing the legal issue of disposable income differences between KK’s house and mine. My favorite part is that since I still allowed the downward deviation for time he does not have, he has not attempted for more custody or even taken all of the available time he is allotted. Completely proves the point that it’s all about the money for him. Ironically, he is paying more than was ever intended because of his ridiculous quest to have it reduced or eliminated.
KK’s parents have apparently been funding the attorneys he had previously attained because they bought into his lies. If they had taken a moment to do some due diligence, they would have found out it was all made up in his head and avoided all of this. Now I have taken to sending subpoenas to ensure KK has to show up at every court appearance. If I have to take off of work for this ridiculousness, then so should the woman supposedly in a partnership with the monster. She should want to be there to hear what is going on and actually support her husband.
So here we go to see a judge to have it explained that just because you are fired for poor job performance does not mean you are absolved of your financial duties to support your child Especially when you are out buying 3 people inline skates for $40 to $180 a pop. That is not someone who feels the need to get a job. KK will have to show up and show all of her bills that are easily covered with her income and some leftover. BA will need to explain why he cannot find employment in 3 months time when there are plenty of companies hiring. And I will have to take yet more time off of work.
Then there is a chance that the Judge is going to remove the downward deviation for time he does not have, create an upward deviation for the less than 30% time he currently has which is what a support order is based on, another upward deviation for additional household income, and another upward deviation for hell of it. This is a judge, they can do anything. They can make him sell one his cars, or they can throw him in jail because he is being such a pathetic excuse of a human being. And I was even planning on requesting a downward adjustment in March until he started this garbage.
BA has never wanted to pay child support. When he was ordered to pay $135 a month in child support while I still had custody of and taking care of his mother. Heck, I gave him money to keep the lights on in the salon in the tune of $800, paid for his mother’s car repairs for another $600-700, and he through such a fit over it that the woman at Domestic Relations BEGGED me to take him to the Master to have his earning “potential” assessed for the purpose of calculating support. I did not do it trying to be fair. The next time we went it was in front of a Master and I was putting my daughter into daycare because BA’s mother moved out after kidnapping my child for a few hours to teach me a lesson. When the order came down for $856, I was shocked and offered to find a way to have it reduced. Then I spent 3 days explaining and defending myself to BA and his first fiance of the year, until she told me she needed his money or she could not do anything fun with her son. DONE… no more compromise. Sorry, my kid comes first and guilt does not work on me. The most asinine part was that in 3 hours I figured out that if he spent a whole day with our child I could reduce my childcare expenses and he refused. When I had to switch jobs and daycares because the other one closed down, I waited the full year before requesting an increase and agreed to downward deviation of $200 in yet another attempt to be fair. Support order was at $1050 at that point. Then he attempted to have it reduced the moment he received 50% time. The idiot Master removed the child care expenses from the order (almost $18,000 of which he was to pay 56%) and BA thought he should only have to pay $200 of the expenses. Appeal and as we worked the numbers it was supposed to be about $1600 a month with the downward deviation as if he had 50% time, without the additional household income that would have created an upward deviation, and without the couple of other things I could have used to make it go up. I even compromised to $1400 a month. There has not been one month since october when BA has paid the full support order. He has never been out of arrears. He has taken our daughter to one dental appointment, 2 allergy appointments (tried sending KK to the first one in his stead), never taken off of work when she was sick, registered her for not even one program, before care, or after care, never had to figure out care for holidays, showed up for none of her end of year recitals last year, never volunteered at her school, has attended one regular parent teacher conference. And yet somehow I am the jerk and the one making things difficult.
Yes, a little bit of a rant, I’m just tired of the lunacy and unnecessary drama. If I was a 1/2 the bitch he tries to make me out to be, I would move to Florida. My life would actually be a million times easier and less stressful, but although easier it’s not necessarily the right thing to do. However if this keeps up, it may be the only way to raise my daughter to be a happy human being. Time will tell. Wish me luck and serenity in court today!