Tomorrow afternoon I am leaving for a trip. I have not done a trip just for me in so long it seems crazy to me. I have a destination, reservation (made in February), and my Daughter will be with her Father for the weekend. I will not be a Mother, Single Woman, Salesperson, Sister, problem solver or anything else. Just a person on a trip.
Unfortunately I did not know the date of a school event when I booked the trip, but I need time to reset. After 3 months of 3 different useless court appearances, the past 2.5yrs of craziness, and the choices laid at my feet, I need to breathe and reset.
So off I go into an adventure. Nothing crazy or opulent, but a moment to breathe and take in life a little bit slower. This year of me has not worked out as I have planned, but it’s all part of the adventure right? I will be relaxing and recharging in a new environment filled with people and opportunities to explore without the stress of consequences. No one will be able to find me, except my daughter of course. I have spoken with her every day of her life and I will always carve out time for that.
Sometimes as parents, especially women or single parents we forget to put the mask on ourselves before we help our children. It’s easy in the chaos of everyday life (even when not as crazy as mine) to forget we have to recharge ourselves. Whether it be carving out 30 minutes to jump around like a crazy person, or taking a couple of days like I am. If we forget how to be a person, how can we expect our children to take care of themselves when they are older? My Mother always took a cruise every year for a week after she received her tax return. Living in Florida it’s logistically easy and inexpensive to do. Being in Pennsylvania, I figured another thing to try. Wherever you are, there is something you can and should do just for you.
I am also going to use this time to decide if I am leaving the state and returning to Florida. There are many opportunities for us and I am in no way stuck anywhere that does not serve my daughter and I. At this moment as I type this, it seems things may be calming down. I have told BA I am seriously considering leaving. I even asked him for a list of reasons for my Daughter and I to stay and how he would assist in ending the crazy. No list was provided, but actions at the moment mean just as much. It has only been 10 days since our last court date, and none are currently pending. That’s progress.
So back to this trip. Leaving Friday afternoon and returning Sunday afternoon. Nothing major, but time for peace and to be with my own thoughts. Plenty of experiences to try, and explore while I am gone. My next post will include details of what I did. For now I want anyone reading this to use their imagination of where I may be going, or what I may be doing. It may just give you insight to what you need to be a person again, even if just for a moment. Not a Mom or Dad, not an employee or boss, not the problem or the problem solver……… what would allow you to just be a human being with no title and when are you going to do it?