I Don’t Understand Hate!

At least not when it comes to people, and especially when it comes to the other parent of your child.  Hatred of things and situations, I understand.  Hatred of people rarely computes, mostly because we are all a complex configuration of emotions, ideals, teachings, beliefs, and experiences. Most of the time when someone says they hate someone it’s because of a brief and fleeting moment of time that cannot be changed.  Even worse is when the person doing the hating doesn’t even know the other person personally.  However the biggest atrocity and offense is when one parent chooses to hate the other parent.

None of it makes any sense to me, especially when there is a child involved.  For you to hate the other parent means you are hating half of your child. It doesn’t matter if they look or act alike, it doesn’t matter if they have the same first name or last name, your need to hate the other parent is insane and hurts your child most of all.  The other parent doesn’t have to be a friend, you do not have to like who they are or what they do, but that is different than hating them and thus hating half your child.

At one point you felt enough about this person to have a child with them.  You may have been married, together for a short time, but no matter what you had enough care to bring another life into this world.  Most importantly that other life deserves to love whomever they choose.  So many parents are trying to use their children as leverage or as a shield.  STOP IT YOU SELF ABSORBED AND PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A PARENT.

Even in saying that, I don’t hate those people, I feel sorry for them.  While you are doing unnecessary and ultimately horrific things in the name of hate, your child is watching.  As your child grows up there are only two things that can ultimately happen.  One and the best would be they learn what not to do and choose to distance themselves from you.  With your hate you have created a toxic environment that no one will live in if given the choice.  At some point a child will make their choice.  The second is a sad consequence.  They follow in your hateful footsteps.  They spend the rest of their lives angry and empty never fully understanding that you robbed them of happiness because you chose to drink poison thinking it would hurt others.  So now your child has drank the poison all their live not knowing there was another way.

Hating another human being for any reason is insane.  Your hate will not change them, will not make them better, will not show them another way.  In most cases the hate only destroys the hater.   The hated person often never knows, and really doesn’t care.  In the situation of one parent hating another, you are causing an innocent pain and life long scars.

So why do it?  What is there really to gain from hating a person?

Ironically, when you think about it, when someone hates a person that hate tends to fester and grow and infect everything for the hater.  When someone hates a situation, smell, taste, or anything else you can imagine, it tends to be for a short amount of time.  Maybe an hour, or a couple of months. In that time, the hatred of those things diminishes as time goes on.  Why such the difference? Why do so many people allow other people to affect them so much?  Personally, if I don’t like you, the last thing I want is to give you any sort of power over me.


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